An Idle Suggestion

So, I’ve been making little sacrifices at the altar of the gods of kickstarter. I haven’t killed any lambs or anything, but I figure a few chocolate bars and copious entrepreneurial moisture (alternating sweat and tears) counts for a lot.

I’ve realized that while worshiping mystical crowdfunding has its own charm, it might be more effective to share my secret hope to the world, where actual people can help me achieve it.

Here’s the deal: I am so so so excited by the idea of doing a custom singing-dancing-telegram. Sure, it’s terrifying to show up at some stranger’s house dressed in a unicorn costume, hoping they are home and it’s an opportune time to sing an off-key rendition of Queen’s Fat Bottomed Girls, but also, what could be more awesome??? Except of course showing up at a stranger’s house nearly naked except cardboard heart sandwich boards, semi-tunefully singing “Be My Lover” and fake break-dancing? (These costumes are what I always envision wearing to a telegram- I think they were what originally inspired this dream many years ago.) 

I’ll admit I’m particularly partial to customized singing telegrams because I’ve had an incredibly awesome experience with one. A few years ago I asked the indomitable Dylan Fresco to deliver a singing telegram to my girlfriend during her birthday party. Right before we were about to eat cake, he showed up in polyester with a ukelele and proceeded to sing a hilarious ditty that ranged from charming to vulgar. The looks of amazement and horrified delight on everyone’s faces were PRICELESS. My only regret is that I didn’t run after Dylan and ask him to join us for cake. He’s an amazing performer, brilliant song-writer, and all-around delight of humanity.

So here’s my thought: maybe you know someone who is about to have a birthday, or mark an anniversary, or needs a pick-me-up. You and your friends join together and get this person a custom singing-and-dancing-telegram! Maybe you are about to go to your 10-year reunion at Macalester, and you need a special way to tell an old professor how much they still mean to you, or to complain to the administration about the newest way they are letting you down. Pull together some friends, family, or fellow alums and MKT will gripe/praise/delight them in style! Make it all happen here.